Either way they would have been looking…there.

Some Mondays it’s impossible to forget that it’s Monday.

It started innocently enough, as all Mondays do. I got up, got ready, and got in my car to drive to work.

And I almost made it there without incident.


At my exit, I ran over what I thought was a tumbleweed. As we connected I realized it was some sort of a mesh. Worried that it was wire, I rolled down my window and listened for ominous sounds, like scraping, or air escaping. But none came, and so I drove on.

When I arrived at work, I realized that the mesh was plastic, and had done no damage to my wheel. It had, however, wrapped tightly around the axle. With a grin and bear it attitude, I made quick work of removing said mesh, pulling it off in clumps until it all finally came away from my car.

Some of my car came with me to my office, in the form of dirt and oil streaks. I quickly visited the rest room and scrubbed from my fingertips to my elbows, leaving my skin nice and clean and pink.

Speaking of pink though, my pink polo hadn’t fared so well. Though I was careful, I had managed to get dirt, oil, and makeup riddled sweat drops all over my shirt. Not so cute. Worst of all, there was part of a tire tread mark across my left breast.

So, I thought for a moment. I could…

A. Look like a slob all day.

B. Go home and change.

C. Grab a clean gym shirt from my car, and deal with the fact that I’d look lame.

I went with C. Turned out that wasn’t the best option. I found a gym shirt that I hadn’t worn yet…School-spirited with a retro design of pine trees in a big circle. I knew it looked a little silly with my work skirt, leggings, and fancy flats, but I deemed it livable.

And no one said a word all day. I noticed a few people glancing at the logo, but nothing too dramatic. I happily left the office, eager to get to the gym and get home.

But in the full length mirror at the gym, I realized that folks were glancing at the logo for entirely different reasons than I had expected.

Two pine trees sat perfectly, one centered on each of my breasts.

They screamed, “Look at me! Look at me!”

I guess I really chose the forth option.

D. Wear a really inappropriate shirt that encourages ogling.

Oh well. It probably would have tied with the tire tread mark.


1 Comment

  1. QB said,

    August 26, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Ahahahaha. No, i’m sorry, that’s not really funny. But it kind of is.

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