A bit of an epiphany.

Lifestyle change.

Those are not my favorite words. Seriously…can you find any associations that you think of as positive?

When people encourage you to make a lifestyle change, it really means one thing.

You’re doing something wrong.

And that something is your life.

Depressing, no?

I’m trying to embrace this, in light of a diabetes diagnosis that I’m still adapting to. Because, in some ways, I’m failing.

Perfect example: I’ve lost my glucose monitor. I’ve been finger-pricking-free for two weeks.

This is a bad thing. I still have a serious mess in my room to wade through before I confirm that my monitor is gone for good, but if I can’t find it soon, I’ll have to buck up and buy a new one.

But, if I’m being pretty honest, it’s not just the pricetag that’s keeping me from getting a new monitor. (Though the pricetag stinks…it’s over $100 bucks!)

It’s also that I just really really REALLY don’t want to be sick.

Ignoring it is not a solution. I need to get on track. I’m trying to get this through my head.

I realized today that it’s not the only lifestyle change I need to be making. I love writing, and I’m working on a YA novel. I’ve gotten some good feedback, esp. at the SCBWI conference I attended recently. I was told I have a great voice, great characters, and good sense of humor. I was told that I should change some plot elements, but I was also told by an awesome editor at an awesome house that she would like to see this, or anything else I write, once I’m done.

That’s pretty cool. Pretty freakin’ amazing, actually. It’s a lead I simply MUST follow up on.

Eventually.

You see, it’s also going to take a lot of work. Apart from replotting, I still have to write the darn thing! This will take a long time. I have lots of ideas, but I have to put them on paper, and revise and rewrite them. And revise them, and revise them, and revise them.

It’s going to take a LONG time. Writing is not easy, even if you love it.

But every day I don’t work on my story makes it harder for my dreams to come to fruition. No one but me will suffer for it, but it’s just another day where I don’t get to be doing what I feel as though I’m supposed to do.

And saying, “I’ll do better tomorrow,” doesn’t mean much when you start saying it every day.

The same thing is true with my diabetes. I need to work at it every day. And if I do, eventually I’ll get somewhere new. Somewhere I want to be.

I know this is a departure from my usual funny stuff, but sometimes even I need to be serious.

Because it’s my life.

And I don’t want to live it wrong.

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2 Comments

  1. Heather said,

    October 21, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    not sick 😦 just a different (sometimes more challenging) path. You’ll get there, with the diabetes and the writing, ‘cuz your a smart chickie

  2. Heather said,

    October 21, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    You’re (you are) HATE when I mess that one up


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